Attention S & R Greenleaf Landscaping

Hi, guys. You don’t know me, but I know you. Specifically, ‘Rob’. Rob left a positively joyous message on my phone, apparently mistaking me for someone who owes his company (the aforementioned S & R Greenleaf Landscaping) money. Trust me, pal, if my yard looked like it does now, and I owed you $240, I’d be the mad one. I don’t actually do any business with you, and it’s a good thing, as I can laugh off your voicemail calling me a ‘fucking douchebag’. I understand you may be upset that your customer has been paying you a dollar and change each month, but I don’t think the f-bomb is going to make him more likely to pay larger amounts. So, dumbass, the next time you are out insulting your customer base with your buddies at the bar and decide to start drunk-dialing them, make sure you dial the right number. The only reason I’m not calling you back to chew you out is because you didn’t leave a call back number, exhorting me to ‘look us up’. Well, seeing that you don’t have a website beyond your Superpages listing, guess what future potential customers who search the web for you will find?

By TheTick

I love movies, books, video games, and comics. I stream games at

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