He Said The Raccoon Challenged Him

For a change of pace, some bits from the Amherst Bee Police Blotter:

A bouncer was sent to St. Joseph€™s Hospital after a fight at a George Urban Boulevard nightclub. A cell phone was found after the incident, and when the officer answered it after it rang, he was able to get the name and address of a suspect. The officer told the suspect he would return the phone if he provided his name and address. The suspect then offered the officer 2 grams of cocaine in exchange for the phone.

What an entrepreneur!

Police and the Ellicott Creek Fire Company responded to Brier Road where a woman€™s hand was reportedly stuck in a blender. It was discovered that only her shirt was caught, and the fire crew cut her free. The banana bread was ruined.

The horror. I guess her shirt wouldn’t blend.

Police were called to Wickham Drive about a lost wallet that contained cash and credit cards. The wallet was found 20 minutes later under a bed and is believed to have been hidden by the basset hound.

The cash was missing, and the hound was found passed out in a pile of liquor bottles and Dog Fanciers magazines.

A man called from Maple Road to report an encounter he had with a raccoon the previous night. He said the raccoon challenged him.

Having lost to a small animal at HORSE, the man called the cops to see if the raccoon was roided up.