In case you don’t know, I live in Western New York, and the Buffalo Bills are a HUGE part of life here. I was scrolling last night and came across a couple of videos that got me thinking about ‘toxic masculinity’ and the ‘male loneliness epidemic’. I’ll link the first video below, see if you can pick out what I heard. This is Josh Allen mic’d up before last Sunday’s game (full version):
The phrase that jumped out at me is, “I love you.” Said freely between adult men. It got me thinking that maybe all those incel-ish men out there wouldn’t feel so lost and alone if they allowed themselves to be closer with their friends. All the lone wolf, sigma male manosphere bullshit separates you from your friends. Others are viewed as your competition, and if they aren’t helping you build your brand or help you on your #grindset, you’re supposed to leave them behind. But the thing is, your interactions with other people contribute to you being seen as a viable dating prospect! You have to practice being good! Having friends, and being able to talk with them, take care of each other, that’s how you learn to be a good person.
The next video came up a few swipes after the first one, and the comments on Facebook for it perfectly summed up the problem (this is the TikTok version for easier sharing).
It’s another video of Buffalo Bills players having fun on the sidelines (this is from a game last year I think, judging by the weather), but one of the first comments had me rolling my eyes.
I didn’t even notice it on the first watch, but after this I did see Frank Gore Jr. leaning up against one of his teammates. But this commenter, and the guys like him, can’t stand the idea that straight men can be close (physically or emotionally). They literally can’t believe that Travis Kelce would be happy as the less “successful” person in a relationship. All you have to do is look at clips of Taylor Swift announcing her new album to see how absolutely smitten he is with her. Travis and Jason hyped her up, and more importantly, she looked comfortable and safe with them. Men, if you want a woman to give you the time of day, use THAT as your guide. Quit listening to Andrew Tate, and tell your homies you love ’em. Be the guy that your girlfriend would tell her work drama to, not the one they cover their drink around. Practice being a decent person, and even if you don’t get more dates, you may find yourself feeling happier anyway. Your happiness and contentment needs to start with yourself.
I’m going to end this post with one of my favorite non-football examples of non-toxic masculinity – the viral pic Mark Ruffalo took of Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, and Taika Waititi piled together sleeping on the way to SDCC back in 2017.
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