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Star Wars Movie Viewing Order – UPDATE

I ran this poll a long time ago, but I read an article the other day about viewing the Star Wars movies in a completely different order that has completely changed my thoughts on how to watch Star Wars.  It’s called the Machete order.  You start with A New Hope, then Empire with it’s gnarly cliffhanger/reveal…and then shows you how young Anakin Skywalker’s slide towards the Dark Side of the Force, but without most of Jar-Jar and the creepy “I knew you as a child now I’m making babies with you” aspect of the Anakin/Padme relationship.  It actually IMPROVES the Palpatine being Sidious reveal along with it.  It’s honestly pretty brilliant, and I think it’s what I’m going to do for my kids.  Thomas has seen bits and pieces but Mattie will be unspoiled.

What order will you show the Star Wars movies to your kids?

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George Lucas is Murdering Star Wars

I have to get this out.  I gave Lucas the benefit of the doubt when the new trilogy came out.  I went and saw the first two in the theaters, thinking “they can’t be as bad as people say”.  They were, pretty much, especially Phantom Menace.  I shrugged when he added a CGI Jabba scene to Star Wars, groaned and rolled my eyes when he had Greedo shoot first, gritted my teeth when he changed the end of Return of the Jedi to have the Hayden Christensen version of Anakin appear in ghostly form, but the man must be stopped.  You’ve probably heard by now of some of the further changes that are supposedly going in on the new Star Wars blu-rays that are forthcoming.  If not, check here and here

I don’t understand why Lucas can’t just release the damn movies on Blu-Ray and sit back and rake in the cash.  Each individual change is minor, but the problem is few to none of them make the movies BETTER.  In 15 years, the original trilogy is going to be completely remade, inch by inch, as GL keeps mucking with it.  All the Ewoks will be played by Doug Jones and Andy Serkis in motion capture suits, and will fly around the forest like they’re in a Hong Kong wire-fu movie.  All the droids will be CGI, and there will be a certain floppy eared Gungan added to the shuttle that Han and Luke fly to Endor.  “Ooooh Han, meesa know da code to give da bad Empire man!”  YOU KNOW HE’S THOUGHT OF IT.  Doesn’t he have any NEW ideas he’d like to make into a movie?  Most filmmakers do that, you know, even if they try to revisit the well of the best success multiple times, they do move on and make something else.  Either that, or Lucas needs a hobby, like hang-gliding, or ending world hunger.