Kissing Suzy Kolber Outdoes The Onion

After Rejecting Other Deals, Bengals Trade Chad Johnson to Tyler Perry

CINCINNATI �� A day after declining the Washington Redskins�� offer of potentially two first-round picks for wide receiver Chad Johnson, the Cincinnati Bengals shipped the restive wideout to omnipresent comedian Tyler Perry.

��Chad will fit in well with our stereotype-laden productions filled with embarrassingly silly, shiftless blacks,�� Perry said from the set of his latest movie, ��Tyler Perry��s Madea Goes to The Church Social,�� which will be released exactly a week after his current project ��Tyler Perry��s Meet The Browns�� leaves theatres.

��I got a vision for Chad. This next movie has a need for a goofy black mail carrier who occasionally hits the pipe. Knowing him, it won��t be hard to work in a exuberant dance number everytime he cracks a joke.��

Well played, Ape, well played, but I think the Bengals could’ve gotten more.